How to Host a Special Occasion Dinner Party

Where do I Start?

So, you have an idea to host a special occasion dinner party – maybe for a friend’s birthday or big promotion or an engagement. But where do I even begin, you ask? Well take a deep breath and dig in. I’ll walk you through a sample menu and some plan ahead steps that will make this manageable for you. You’ve got this!

Plan the Guest List

It sounds silly but start with the obvious, who you are inviting and how many because the menu and all the rest of the little details will be based on that. For a dinner party I don’t recommend more than eight or it starts to get stressful. If you are having small appetizers and not a seated dinner, then you could go up a little bit to maybe ten to twelve guests.

Start with the person or persons whose special occasion it is and develop the list from there. Who are their favorite people? Who mixes well together? You don’t want everyone to be the life of the party, but you do want at least one or two who will bring the fun. And maybe that’s you! Whatever the case, think through the guest list before you do anything else and try to picture them all having a good time right in your home. Does it seem like the right group? Great. Let’s move on to the good part.

Planning the Menu

Now that you have the guests nailed down it’s time to get into the best part, in my opinion, what you are going to serve that will hit all the right notes of deliciousness and will be special enough to mark the occasion but doable for you. It’s a tricky balance.

Here’s a menu that I did recently for a client in their home. Keep in mind that I’ve been doing this for years so you could do a modified version of this or scale it back a bit even. This is just one example of what I’d consider a stellar menu with lots of variety, and some do ahead steps. The occasion was one of the guests’ birthdays and she is a foodie. We planned the menu around her tastes specifically and the guest list included the hosts, her husband and two other couples who are all tight-knit friends (four couples).

Appetizers

Apple, brie & fig jam crostini with a walnut pesto

Crab cake with citrus butter

Salad

Butter lettuce with persimmon, candied nuts, pomegranate seeds and Humbold Fog goat cheese or Point Reyes blue cheese and a pomegranate vinaigrette

Main

Ribeye steak topped with a shallot-blue cheese compound butter or a mustard-crème fraiche sauce (on the side) along with potatoes (crispy smashed, garlic mashed, or gruyere and parmesan gratin) and crispy green beans

Dessert

Crème Brulé

Why it Works

Variety is the spice of life, right? This special occasion menu was definitely over the top with both seafood and steak – a luxurious treat. It also included an interesting starter (vegetarian) with a homemade walnut pesto instead of traditional pesto. Next, we moved on to a seasonal salad with a twist from persimmons and pomegranate seeds. And for the finale, a decadent dessert, Creme Brulee, that happened to be the birthday girl’s favorite.

Anytime you can offer so much selection in one menu you will likely have a successful dinner party because there’s something for everyone. Even better, all the little details are homemade, and many were done ahead of time.

Apple & Brie Crostini

This crostini is simply ridiculous. One of my all-time requested bites because it just has that perfect flavor balance from the sweet fig jam to the creamy brie on crunchy toasted bread and then a little tartness from the apple and finished with the pesto.

Crab Cake with Citrus Butter & Fried Capers

I’m grew up for a bit on the East Coast, so I love a good crab cake. I make mine with crushed up saltines for the breading and not too much ‘stuff’ to get in the way of the crab flavor. I like to use lump crab meat when I can. Melting butter and adding a little lemon and orange zest to it really compliments the flavor of the crab well. Serve with some segmented orange slices and a drizzle of butter and then top with some fried capers and microgreens and I promise you all your crab loving friends will rave.

Butterleaf Persimmon & Pomegranate Salad with Goat Cheese & Candied Nuts

Persimmons are only available certain times of year and when they are (this party was in October) they are wonderful on a salad. Mixed with a few pomegranate seeds for color the combination gave this salad a festive look and perhaps something new that guests hadn’t tried before. Read up on why you should try new things at a dinner party with my blog post here.

Steak with Compound Butter

Anytime there is a special occasion dinner I am almost always asked to serve steak as the main course. For a first-time host this can be challenging because it’s tough to get 6 or 8 steaks cooked perfectly and on the table at the same time. So, if that’s the case for you then I’d recommend a roast instead of individual steaks. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. But don’t skip the compound butter because that’s what makes this dish more like something you’d get in a steakhouse restaurant and it’s a do-ahead step. And, if you do happen to overcook the steak, you just melt some butter on it and call it good.

Creme Brulee

Dessert isn’t something I personally love to make but for a special occasion dinner you need something to mark the occasion. So, you can either buy something or make a dish like Creme Brule that is universally loved and pretty much completely done in advance (minus the burn sugar part). Easy peasy.

Do Ahead Steps:

Walnut Pesto (or regular pesto) can be made several days ahead of your dinner party or store bought if you run out of time
Crostini can be baked and held for several hours. Don’t put them in a plastic sealed bag if they are still warm or they will soften. If you want to rewarm before serving do so in a 200-degree oven on a sheet pan
Crab cakes can be formed and stored in the fridge for several hours until ready to fry
Citrus butter can be melted and mixed ahead of time and then remelted before serving
Orange segments for crab cakes can be done ahead of time and stored in the fridge (several hours)
Capers (if using) can be fried and salted ahead of time and set aside at room temperature
Salad dressing can be made several days in advance
Compound butter can be made a day in advance
Creme Brulee can be made in advance and stored (covered with plastic wrap) in fridge. *I don’t like to torch the top until just before serving and if you let the guests get involved with that and do their own it’s a lot of fun

Dinner Party Tips

Keep the flow moving so guests mingle more
- Change up the setting by having appetizers in the kitchen or outside and then dinner at the table
Have the bar set up so guests can help themselves freely to whatever beverages are being offered
Have a signature drink to get the ball rolling when they arrive. It can be simple and doesn’t have to be alcoholic but something to sip while they settle in
Involve your guests
- Some guests are more comfortable with something to do, and some want to stand around and chat. Have some last-minute little to-dos for those that insist on helping (toss a salad or arrange the crostini on a platter)

Decor

No matter the occasion the decor and table settings really help tie it all together. If you put all that effort into the delicious food, you want to give the same amount of thought to the details around presentation. For this reason, I really like to use white platters for the food itself and then you can decorate the table with more color like my client did in this case. It was such an elegant table.